'The D.J. Penguin-lord'
By XIII
There once was a penguin named Jerry. Jerry was no ordinary penguin, you see. Jerry was the LORD of all penguins! He was a great penguin-lord, not too tyrannical yet not too clintastic. Jerry spent his entire life conquering various penguin nations, such as Penguinville, Penguin-City, and France. After finally succeeding in becoming lord of all that is penguin, he found his life to be missing something. One day, while Jerry was out tending to lord-matters, he saw a penguin who appeared to be spinning some sort of disk. Jerry walked over to this strange penguin and said, "Wtf m8? Why you gots them spinny-disky-things?"
The penguin replied with, "Sup yo? lol, nah bro. This ain't not a spinny thing, it's A RECORD! Whoaoaoaoaoaaaaa! I be a D.J.!! It's mah job, dawg...penguin dawg."
Jerry, unsure what just happened, replied with, "What? Speak english, please."
The penguin said, again, "I'M A D.J., DUMBSHITPENGUIN!" Jerry, still unsure of what was going on, said, "What's a 'Dee-Jay?'
The penguin, hereforth known as PENGUIN-A, said, "I spin disks and make music... shit like that."
Jerry was becoming more and more curious at what PENGUIN-A was doing. He asked PENGUIN-A if he could try out his turn-table and try to mix some phat beats. Right off the bat, Jerry was outstanding at spinning. He was able to make phat-off-the-heezie-beats in just seconds easily fitting them into any song, even Celien Dions garbage. Jerry decided that this was what he wanted to do for the rest of his life, and his sisters life[who he married, just because everyone thought it was gross].

Later that day, Jerry told his fellow Penguin-friends of what he had found out that day. His pal, PENGUIN-B, told Jerry that Penguin-Lords were strictly forbidden to be a D.J. and it was punishable by 40-lashes. Jerry became utterly despondant at the news of this horrible law. For weeks, he was seen moping around his gigantic igloo in his fancy penguin-tuxedo trying to think of ways to make it work. About a month later, Jerry realized that he was Lord of all penguins and cound not be held to such silly laws! He went out to his local music store, bought a turn-table, and began mixing some hip-beats. Jerry ended up becoming the most well known and respected penguin-D.J. of all time(And not just because he would kill anyone who thought diffrently)Sadly, Jerry was found dead on Febtober 34, 3952. He had killed himself when he learned that his baby-momma[his sister, hereforth known as PENGUIN-C] was having an affair with his brother[hereforth known as PENGUIN-D]. He ended up hanging himself by making a noose out of whale bones. Jerrys memory lives on to this very day. It is believed that he has been reincarnated in the form of a human. This human is known as Dan Pannell.

LOL that is funny, one question whos Dan Pannell? Sorry im from Australia :P

me lol i love irc