How to Write a Paper
1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.

4. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-thru plastic folders, drop him.

5. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

7. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

9. Listen to one side of your favorite tape and that's it. I mean it, as soon as it's over, you are going to start that paper.

10. Listen to the other side.

11. Rearrange all of your cd's into alphabetical order.

12. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if he's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the university, the world at large.

13. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

14. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue; savor its special flavor.

15. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than12 hours, anything on TV from Masterpiece Theater to Sgt. Preston of the Yukon, is truly worthwhile, with these exceptions:

a) Pro Bowler's Tour
B) any movie starring Don Ameche.
c) Barney and friends

16. Catch the last hour of Soul Brother of Kung Fu on channel 26.

17. Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was watching. Discuss the finer points of the plot.

18. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror.

19. Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

20. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

21.Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall.

22.Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

23. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the hell of it.

24. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

25. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

26. Leap up and write the paper.

27. Type the paper.

28. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write the damn paper.

Rofl! so damn true its not even funny.... aa im having the same problem right now but with trying to draw the map of the U.S. and then i have to draw the route of Lewis and Clark...... pain in the ass....... so i checked the forums.. and then im ganna listen to music and then ill start doin it.

ty for your info... but ya thats not hard to get the hard part is drawing the damn thing.... bu thanx for the consideration . o and i finished it now

actually the easy part is drawing, get the pic on ur comp make sure you r in dim light environment, hold the paper on the screen and sketch away.

on the screen? um i dont think i would be able to do that... but thats a nice map... didnt c that one in my research... but i found a different one thats the same. next time ill try your method.. it might just work .

25. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

26. Leap up and write the paper.

27. Type the paper.

28. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you