Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Jean, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.


'Quick, quick!' shouts Sister Catherine. 'What
shall we do?'

Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the
abomination,' says Sister Jean

Sister Catherine switches them on,
knocking Dracula about, but he
clings on and continues hissing at the nuns


'What shall I do now?'
she shouts.

'Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water
at the Vatican ,' says Sister Jean

Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams
as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues
hissing at the nuns.

'Now what?' shouts Sister Catherine.

'Show him your cross,' says Sister Jean


'Now you're talking,' says Sister Catherine.



She opens the window and shouts,
'Get the fuck off the car'

lol where the hell do you get these jokes? they always seem to brighten up my boring school days xD

Three nuns die in a car accident and go to Heaven. As they approach gates to heaven Saint Peter approaches and tells them,

"Normally you would have to spend time in purgatory but because you've led devout lives you can gain admittance now by each answering one question."

To the first nun, "Who was the first man on earth?" "Adam," replied the nun.
"Correct." The birds sang the bells rang the gates to Heaven opened.

To the second nun, "Who was the women on earth?" "Eve" replied the second nun.
"Correct." The birds sang the bells rang the gates to Heaven opened.

To the third nun, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"
The last nun puzzled stood their a moment, put her chin in her hand and said to herself, "Hmm, that's a hard one."
The birds sang the bells rang the gates to Heaven opened.