[NSFW] Star wars review

The_FreeMan · (#1 (**permalink**))

i reviewed the new star wars movie in irc, but chose to submit it to the forums, watch this

[21:26] <@The_FreeMan> heres the gist of the plot
[21:27] <@The_FreeMan> anakin and kenobi are supposed to save jabba the hutts son, who looks like a piece of shit
[21:27] <Muadib> He prolly is >.>
[21:27] <Shadow> rofl
[21:27] <@The_FreeMan> they are right now defending a planet, so it takes like 30 minutes to get them saved, kenobi during this time said he applied for a padawn, but like an ass, filled out anakins name
[21:28] <Shadow> lol
[21:28] <@The_FreeMan> so anakin gets an anorexic red kid as comedy backup
[21:28] <Muadib> xD
[21:28] <Shadow> lol
[21:28] <@The_FreeMan> the first like 10 minutes with little red person is about the name youngling and padawan
[21:29] <@The_FreeMan> then they gotta destroy some fucking shield that the enemy put up, before they are overrun
[21:29] <@The_FreeMan> anakin and red kid have a bonding moment during it
[21:29] <@The_FreeMan> yoda come back with a shitload of
support, like 7 frickin star cruiser, starts strutting over to anakin and co. like a pimp
[21:29] * Muadib cough's "FAG"
[21:29] <Muadib> xD
[21:29] <Shadow> lol
[21:30] <@The_FreeMan> tells them they gotta save the kid now, hes on some fucking planet with the droid army
[21:30] <@The_FreeMan> on an off-note
[21:30] <@The_FreeMan> most of the jokes in this movie are from the droids
[21:30] <@The_FreeMan> being class-a fucking retards
[21:31] <@The_FreeMan> like when they have the kid and are in a fortified monastary ill quote 2 of them "conenctrate fire on sector 1285483"
[21:31] <@The_FreeMan> "on sectorr...1285...what?"
[21:31] <@The_FreeMan> *droid one pushes droid twos head in the direction*
[21:32] <@The_FreeMan> "right there! fire right there"
[21:32] <@The_FreeMan> so anakin and red kid have a race to see who can get to the enemy first, they are on a vertical cliff, both climbing
[21:32] <@The_FreeMan> red kid chooses to ride on a fucking walker, which it going straight up
[21:33] <@The_FreeMan> jumps ontop of the cockpit, and im under the assumption the driver is getting an upskirt view
[21:33] <Shadow> XD
[21:33] <@The_FreeMan> anakin steals a fucking hovering droid fighter or some shit, red kid thinks thats not fair
[21:34] <@The_FreeMan> 10 second later, anakin is on top, the place is cleared, and what do you know
[21:34] <@The_FreeMan> 3 fucking drioidekas come rolling out, and anakin gives and oh shit face
[21:34] <@The_FreeMan> wishing that the kid could have keeped up
[21:34] <@The_FreeMan> then all you see if a fucking explosion, the fucking walker just anihillated the 3 droidekas
[21:35] <@The_FreeMan> and the kid gets fuckign gloating
[21:35] <@The_FreeMan> all during this time, kenobis on tatooine, bargaining with jabba the douchebag
[21:36] <@The_FreeMan> once kenobi leaves, dooku comes and makes jabba think the jedis stole the kid, and he takes the bait like the huge shit pile he is
[21:36] <Shadow> XD
[21:36] <Muadib> lol
[21:36] <@The_FreeMan> so they get the kid, hes fucking sick, so its a against time thing
[21:36] <@The_FreeMan> they try to get a ship, find a fucking junker and get their by riding a huge dragonfly
[21:37] <@The_FreeMan> but before that, the sith assasain dooku has tries to kil anakin and shit
[21:37] <@The_FreeMan> fails horribly, the platform they were on fuckin fell down a cliff
[21:37] <Shadow> lol
[21:37] <@The_FreeMan> a droid pops his head out the door "dooku wants to know if you got the kid, should i tell him you did not of what?"
[21:38] <@The_FreeMan> sith person throws the droid down the cliff
[21:38] <@The_FreeMan> and the junker anakin and them are in tries to land on a star cruiser, the star cruiser opens up the hangers, since anakins being chased by 3 fighters
[21:38] <@The_FreeMan> once the shield is lowered, the 3 droids suicide bomb the hanger
[21:39] <Shadow> lol
[21:39] <@The_FreeMan> whole fucking ship goes down in flames
[21:39] <@The_FreeMan> anakin and them make the juimp to tatooine
[21:39] <@The_FreeMan> during this, red kid find some medical suplies on the ship, and a robot doctor
[21:40] <@The_FreeMan> asks what she should do, so he suggests some fucking medical pill, and if there are anymore problems, contact a real doctor
[21:40] <Shadow> XD
[21:41] <@The_FreeMan> so they get to tatooine, dookus bodyguards try shooting the ship down, after some showboating he wins in the normal movie drama
[21:41] <@The_FreeMan> but crashes in the process
[21:41] <Shadow> lol
[21:41] <@The_FreeMan> they start walking through the desert, split up, dooku finds anakin, after some fighting, dooku thinks he won, no
[21:42] <@The_FreeMan> anakin runs like a fucking pussy, goes to jabba thinkign the kid is there already, nooo
[21:42] <@The_FreeMan> shes like 100 feet away fighting against 3 fucking bodyguards
[21:42] <Shadow> lol
[21:42] <@The_FreeMan> oh yeah, senator organa gets in on this, tries to make things all good with jabba
[21:43] <@The_FreeMan> contacts his uncle zero who sounds like a major fucking douchebag with a lisp
[21:43] <@The_FreeMan> she learns that zero stole the kid so he can be king of the hutts
[21:43] <@The_FreeMan> she gets capt[21:43] <@The_FreeMan> not too long later, republic commandos bust her ass out
[21:43] <@The_FreeMan> 3-CPO says some wiseass comment
[21:44] <@The_FreeMan> everything ends all well and fine, the endured