A matter of life and death

delta62 · (#1 (**permalink**))

ok well i figured life and death jokes here? (delete if you want)

well, theses two are pretty similar but i like them both alot so here goes...

2 men are at the gates to heaven and they strike up a conversation about how the other died. the 1st man says to the 2nd "i froze to death" the 2nd man says "ouch, what was that like?" the 1st man says, "it was sort of peaceful toward the end, so, err, how did you die then?" the 2nd man takes a deep breath and says, "well you see, i knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day i stayed home from work, i thought i heard something so, i ran upstairs, but there she was on the bed, knitting, so, i ran back to the ground floor, there was nobody there, i ran to the basement, there was nobody there, i then ran to the attic, when i got there, i had a heart attack and died"
the 1st man laughs. "whats so funny?" says the 2nd.

the 1st man looks at him and says "if you had just looked in the freezer, we would both be alive right now"

2 men are at the gates to the after life and they strike up a conversation about how the other died. the 1st man says to the 2nd "i died of a heartattack" the 2nd man says "o?" "yes" says the 1st man, "i knew my wife was cheating on me, and i knew the man was in the freezer, so, i hauled the freezer up the the 3rd floor balcony, and threw it over the edge, as i did so, my heart gave out and i died." the second man swears, "damn you" he says, "i was in that freezer" they then begin to argue.

in the middle of the arguement, another man come to the gates, he looks both shocked and confused, he is looking around obvoiusly not knowing where he is.

the 3rd man says to both the 1st and the 2nd (who have by now began to stare at him) "you would never guess what just happend to me" they both say to the 3rd man, "what?" the 3rd man then looks at them both and says "well, i was walkin along the street minding my own business, then all of a sudden, a freezer fell out of a 3rd story window and hit me in the face, i never had a chance"