This is from a lithuanian site i'll try and translate it:

A girl after a party asks a aquitance to give her a ride home:
-well, u got a car , why don't u give me a ride?
The aquitance:
-I don't have a car , I got a Fiat.

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2 little girls (about 6years old) are petting a puppy in the back yard.
1st girl:
-Oh god , it's really fat.
2nd girl:
-Even fatter than you.
They start laughing really hard , then a moment later the insulted girl says:
-Wait, can you repeat that? I didn't hear it.

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A guy chat about bad things:
-Having Eveline as your girlfriend is worse than being sober n a club.

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Maths teacher counting students in class:
-Aha, 4.But there were supposed to be 5.where are the other 2?